Thursday, October 27, 2011

Reminiscing After 4 years

I haven't started my work yet as I was busy checking updates on FB and my personal emails as well. Then I glanced on the calendar and it hit me. We've been married for 4 years! Kudos to us for getting here and let me tell you, it was never an easy ride especially for me. Things didn't turned out the way I want them to be. You know the feeling of having dreams that you want to achieve on your own and with your better half in life but somehow you're having difficulty reaching it. It's like you're in a slowmo to get to those dreams.

Sometimes it makes me sad or frustrated that I'm thinking ugly thoughts (just like earlier). How many times you should give second chances? To what extent you need to prolong your patience?

I didn't mean to be so negative especially on this day where it's supposed to be a "happy" occasion but just like before when we were planning our wedding, I have many "what ifs" and up to now I sometimes ask myself the same question. Actually I'm having mixed emotions at the moment.

Life indeed is a journey. I remembered the quote on Boys over Flowers where the hunky potter explained how a pot, cups or vases that he created never breaks easily. They have to go through a series of process - they all started as a clay being step, then he will mold them into something useful and exposing it to a hot temperature is the key in making it tough.

Same thing goes for me...or should I say for us. We are given trials, sometimes we feel that we are being stepped at or looked down by others but those experiences will mold us and shaped us into something we can be proud of and just when everything is falling into pieces, a huge obstacle or trial awaits us leaving us all burned out. After going through all of this we may not noticed it but we became stronger and tougher.

So let this scene in Boys over Flowers remind me of how tougher I become in this marriage from the lady who started planning her wedding. I think my husband started to be stonger too, I just need to give him a little push and encouraging words.

So to my husband of 4 years let's brave the storm together. I'm praying for guidance and strength for both of us. Life is good and I still want to enjoy them with you.

Happy Anniversary :)

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